Fiftyfifty.me 2012: DONE!

I FINISHED FIFTYFIFTY.ME!

They said it couldn't be done.
They called us crazy.
In some cases they just called us losers.

Me: "Dad, are you going to join us and do Fiftyfifty.me?!"
Dad: "NO. Unlike you guys, I have a life!!!!!!"

My fiftyfifty.me started like this - Jon Yang came up with this brilliant idea to read 50 books and watch 50 movies during the year. Inspired, I got the idea that not only would I want to join him (because it sounded like a massive nerdy undertaking, and therefore, just my sort of thing), but perhaps others would too. Looking at our site now, 355 people publicly signed on, with others doing it on the wings.

And here we are, one by one, crossing the finish line.

As you can imagine, my brain is a little bit fried (particularly as I lived the month of December in a state of college finals-style panic). But here's the list! ** denotes favorites.

BOOKS:
1) The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (Agatha Christie)
2) Knowing Your Value (Mika Brzezinski) **
3) Before I Go to Sleep (SJ Watson)
4) The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight (Jennifer E Smith)
5) The Tiger's Wife (Tea Obreht)
6) Yeah, I Said It (Wanda Sykes) **
7) Food Rules (Michael Pollan)
8) Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card)
9) Before the Mortgage (ed. Christina Amini & Rachel Hutton)
10) Divergent (Veronica Roth)
11) Lions of Little Rock (Kristin Levine) ** (Loved this one. Read my review here)
12) Stories I Only Tell My Friends (Rob Lowe)
13) StoriTelling (Tori Spelling)
14) Uglies (Scott Westerfield)
15) The Little White Care
16) L'Amant (Marguerite Duras)
17) Fifty Shades of Crap Grey
18) The Story Behind the Song
19) Scar Tissue (Anthony Kiedis)
20) Trinity (Leon Uris)
21) Trinity (Leon Uris. 900 pages)
22) But Enough About Me (Jancee Dunn)
23) Gone Girl (Gillian Flynn) **
24) I Feel Bad About My Neck (Nora Ephron) **
25) Ten Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn't Have) - (Sarah Mylnowski)
26) The Lover's Dictionary (Devid Levithan)
27) I Remember Nothing (and Other Reflections) - (Nora Ephron)
28) Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk (David Sedaris)
29) The Game (Neil Strauss)
30) The Girl in the Flammable Skirt (Aimee Bender)
31) As Husbands Go (Susan Isaacs)
32) Code Name Verity
33) The Giver (Lois Lowry)
34) Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (Mindy Kaling)
35) Where'd You Go, Bernadette? (Maria Semple)
36) More Baths, Less Talking (Nick Hornby)
37) Soulacoaster (R Kelly)
38) The Fault In Our Stars (John Green) **
39) How to Be a Woman (Caitlin Moran) **
40) The Affair (Lee Child)
41) Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
42) Tiny Beautiful Things (Cheryl Strayed) ** (Obsessed. Read my review here)
43) Seriously, I'm Kidding (Ellen Degeneres)
44) Confessions of a Video Vixen (Karrine Steffans)
45) Maus (Art Spiegelman)
46) Not Dead & Not For Sale (Scott Weiland)
47) Cool, Calm and Contentious (Merrill Markoe)
48) In the Bag (Kate Klise)
49) Smut (Alan Bennett)
50) For the Love of Letters (Samara O'Shea)

Alternates:
You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero (Bob Powers)/ Choose Your Own Adventure for adults
The Moon Daughter, Zoe Ghahremani (Pub date: 2013)

MOVIES:
1) Timer **
2) Absurdistan
3) Muppets **
4) Gattaca
5) A Separation **
6) The Artist **
7) In Time
8) W/E ** (one of my absolute favorite films this year)
9) The Joneses
10) Iron Lady
11) Friends with Kids
12) Being Elmo
13) Hunger Games
14) I Do
15) In the Land of Blood and Honey
16) Rue Cases-Negres
17) The Best Marigold Hotel
18) The Grey
19) Rock of Ages **
20) The Dictator
21) Little Manhattan **
22) The Intouchables (I haven't shut up about this since seeing it)
23) Dark Knight Rises
24) The Descendants
25) Serious Moonlight
26) Ruby Sparks
27) From Rome with Love
28) Up
29) Magic Mike
30) The Names of Love
31) Moonrise Kingdom
32) Mirror Mirror
33) The Runaway Bride
34) Argo
35) The Sessions (The only reason I didn't walk out of this movie was fiftyfifty.me)
36) First Position **
37) Katy Perry: Part of Me [oh no she didn't. oh yes, she did]
38) Limitless
39) Anna Karenina **
40) Dumb and Dumber (had somehow never seen this)
41) Manon des Sources
42) Out of Sight
43) Rebound
44) Still Bill
45) No Strings Attached
46) Five Year Engagement
47) Safety Not Guaranteed
48) Les Miserables
49) Lincoln
50) Happy

Post-Game Wrapup:
In what is no surprise to anyone who knows me, it was harder for me to get around to the movies than the books. People ask if we cheat and read children's picture books, etc. to get the count up. No, although I did foray into Young Adult books on a few occasions (The Fault in Our Stars, by John Green, is one of the best books I've read in recent years, actually). And I definitely generally found myself more willing to throw a book aside (or turn off a movie) if it wasn't doing the trick. Getting stuck and bored is one of the reasons people turn away from reading, I think, so I managed to avoid that almost completely.

In general I was so eager to hit the numbers that I gobbled up whatever came my way, which made it a much more interesting year of reading, taking in recommendations from other people at a pace I've never done before. In the end, it's a complete mash of topics and quality, but it was also, without a doubt, fun as hell.

I am most definitely signing on to do this for 2013. Starting tomorrow, in fact. No rest for the wicked, I say.

My Culture Consumption: Roundup #1

January was a doozy over here in this thing called life.  It was a chance to think long and hard about what is important, so before you dive into reading this post, do me a favor and go text someone you love. (I'd say call them, but let's take baby steps)

I'm going to follow the footsteps of my blogging muse and just dive in on this one, My Culture Consumption: Roundup #1 (Jan - early Feb edition).

Although the month of January threw some curve balls, it also had some high points and I remained steadfast in my dedication to fiftyfifty.me.
 
Since I last wrote, I have read 3 new books:

*The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight (book #4)
*Food Rules: An Eater's Manual (book #5)
*The Tiger's Wife (book #6)


Now, at first glance you might think I read 2 self help books and yet another trashy celeb bio, but this is not the case!   

best. title. ever

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight
by Jennifer E. Smith

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight is a sweet and simple YA (young adult, ye non-literary friends in the house) novel about a boy and girl who meet at an airport, and what transpires over the course of the next 24 hours.  As someone who can be easily sold on concept, I loved where she went with it, and the clever title had me from the get-go.  It is not a question of if this movie will be made into a movie, but when.

Of course, it made me wonder what the statistical probability of love at first sight would actually be.  Ooh, and would the same thing happen to me on my flight the next week?  Not so much.  In a very symbolic moment about my life, I ended up on the flight where the dude behind me was eating a tuna sandwich. 


The Tiger's Wife 
by Tea Obreht

Books that get a gazillion accolades are truly hit or miss.  When I started this one, I got worried. Beautiful cover, 1001 quotes from adoring literary superstars... how would it deliver?  And for the first 50 pages, I'll be honest, it didn't.  I actually described it to others as "literary molasses".  But then the pieces started to come together and I settled into the rhythm of the way the story is braided, and it became more enjoyable.  What was most impressive to me was she had created a fairytale for adults.  It was unlike anything else I had read, and the depths of her imagination, while at first alienating to me, became astounding.

eat these, for example.

 Food Rules: An Eater's Manual 
by Michael Pollan


You'd look at the title and think I could write this one, but it turns out it stumped even me.  Apparently food that comes in through the window of your car is not food??  Wish I got the memo before swinging into Jack in the Box yet again. A straightforward compilation of common wisdom regarding eating and health.  We've heard some of these items over and again (women's magazines recycle these tips every month, do they not?) And yet the brilliance of the delivery is in the simplicity.  I've been cooking at home nonstop since reading it, so it must have worked. Quick, someone take a picture!


Movie-wise I've been slacking.  I saw The Muppets (movie #3), the new one with never-lets-me-down Jason Segel and Amy Adams.  Then I went on a movie hiatus as I spent hours of my sweet youth watching Downton Abbey (worth 0 pts on fiftyfifty.me, but worth a million to my internal romantic)  The Muppets was fantastic because it was delivered in a self-conscious style that allowed it to be self-deprecating and fun; from the start the movie makes you aware that they KNOW it won't live up to traditional Muppet movies, but you're going to have fun with it anyways.  And we did. 

Yesterday I tried to pick up the pace, and watched Gattaca (movie #4) last night, starring Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman.  Then today I went to see A Separation (movie #5), the Iranian film that has been nominated for the Best Foreign Film Oscar as well as Best Screenplay.

One of these was significantly better than the other, in my opinion. That would be the one where Uma Thurman is not playing the ideal woman. (Seriously, she's cute but how are there not one but TWO movies centered on this theme?) 

Set in a future society obsessed with human perfection, I liked the issues that Gattaca raises.  It was interesting to watch it so many years after its release; at the time when it came out I'm sure people weren't yet testing to see what gender baby they could conceive, strategizing for a child's best success via selecting the "right" donor at the bank, etc.  So  I'm sure my experience is different, watching it in a time and place (now) where this testing isn't that much of a wild concept. And perhaps that's what made it even creepier, less of a sci-fi and more of a social warning.  So they had concept and the cinematography was beautiful -- but for me the acting fell flat.  All I could think of was how happy I was for these two boring people that they found each other.  I wanted to do away with the other two and just watch Jude Law, charming as ever. Of course the one interesting one self-incinerates, of course.


A Separation probably deserves a post of its own.

The story, written and directed by Asghar Farhadi, is about a man and woman who are in the process of divorcing- they separate and he is left to raise their daughter and to find care for his father, who is suffering from Alzheimer's.  The plot spirals out from there, examining the ripple effects of our actions.  The film introduces a cast of absorbing characters through strong acting, heavy but well-delivered themes, and storyline that will stay with you long after you leave the cinema.

A Separation deserves the accolades it has been getting. But here's the thing: it's not a good movie despite its being from Iran, which I fear is what some people think.  It is a good movie because it is done with heart and with universal themes and characters you can readily relate to, however wildly different their circumstances might be from your own.

For me, the movie and its social ecosystem it reflects is symbolic of Iran (and the world) as a whole- it's much more complex than you could possibly imagine at first glance.

Nothing is simple. cc: Politicians of the world.

fiftyfiftyme: Movie #2, Absurdistan

Ok, apparently we're living in bizarro world, because I just watched my second movie of the challenge, but have yet to finish a single book. 

I visited my sis and we popped in a random comedy we found on Netflix, Absurdistan. I assumed it was the film from the Gary Shteyngart book of the same name (which I haven't read) - turns out I'm wrong. It's a Russian flick and we went into it pretty much blind.

The premise of the movie is simple- young lovers are finally going to have their first night together, but it coincides with the women of the town going on strike against the men (read: no sex) for continuing to neglect the water shortage in the town.  So it's up to our young hero to sort out water for the village and set the gender relations back on track if he wants a night of his own. 'Tis a lot to saddle a young teen with, no?

The movie is beautifully shot- the sets are colorful and engaging, and the story is told with so little dialogue and so much facial expression.  It has the feeling of a (slightly raunchy) folk tale, and is a total escape. 

It picked up awards at a few festivals, and I can see why. While this movie takes place in a world none of us can imagine, the gender wars surpass cultural, economical, or linguistic boundaries to be both identifiable and hilarious.  My sole complaint is that I felt bad for the guy.  To the very end I wasn't entirely convinced why he liked her so much (maybe his miming was better than hers?)  I would have kicked her to the curb. But hey, that's what makes it romantic I guess!

The best thing about it, I researched later, is that it's not entirely absurd.  In fact, the movie is based on a true story!  Veit Helmer, the writer and director, was inspired by "a 2001 newspaper account of women in the Turkish village of Sirt refusing to accommodate their husbands until they fixed a broken pipeline."  

If I rated movies, this would get a B, but mostly only because I'm stingy with A's.

2 for 2, people!

My fiftyfifty.me Begins! (2012)

Once upon a time, Jon had this great idea to try and watch 50 movies and read 50 books in the year 2012.  But I've already told you that part.

Fast forward to January 1st, when I watched my first movie of 2012.  I decided to set a light tone for the year and start with a romantic comedy. I got a few minutes into Love and Other Disasters, starring Brittany Murphy, and it was, true to its name, pretty disastrous, mostly in the British accent department.  I decided rather than waste time on something I'm not enjoying (hopefully a habit I will keep up throughout the year), I'd try something else.  So I started to watch TiMER, which I had saved in my Netflix queue but am not quite sure how I found it.  I tend to be willing to watch anything that's a romantic comedy. It's like candy for my little brain.  I have a million foreign films and documentaries lined up (just trying to save my street cred here, can you blame me?) but I wanted something easy to slide right into the new year.

MOVIE #1: TiMER
Now, I don't remember how I came across the movie TiMER, but the concept stuck in my head- it's about a company creating chips they can implant in you that will begin counting down to when you'll meet your soulmate (once that person, too, has a chip).  I won't give you the whole synopsis, it's probably worth watching.  I identified with more of the dialogue than I expected to, and the characters were all very likeable.  But what I enjoyed most was that it had a smart sense of humor and opened up the age-old discussion of whether it's better to know your fate, good or bad, or if you should just wing it.  And is there only one person for you?

Let's be honest, it's not common for romantic comedies to get you thinking.  I found myself wondering what I would do, if I would get a bracelet, how it would change things to know that someone was/not coming into your life.  Where does timing play into your life?  What do you do when, like one character, you find out that your soulmate IS out there... but it'll be approximately 5000+ days until you guys cross paths (apparently the answer is: you sleep around).
 A lot of girls (myself included) tend to eyeball whether something is worth their time; we don't, especially in our 30s, do as much of dating because someone is interesting or just funny to be around.  We'll move on if we don't see it going somewhere.  The irony is that we end things and we don't know if, in a parallel world, it would be the person you end up with, because you close that dorr.  In the movie romance quickly becomes subjected to the timer litmus test.  In fact, the opening scene is a girl dragging her new (1 month) boyfriend in to get timers so they can figure out if this is worth their time.

I guess on some level, women already do this, blurting out questions about long-term goals and needs on first dates.  (Thanks simply to the bad advice of a dating guru whose butt landed on Oprah's couch)  Women often put out awkward feelers early on to figure out if they have the information they need to proceed (or not) with a guy they're seeing.  TiMER effectively offers the scientific scenario (hm...perhaps it should be filed under "fantasy" for women??) -- where you could just, with the press of a timer, identify if you're investing your time in the "right" person.

Ultimately the question becomes whether experience for experience's sake has any value in a world where you could move straight to point B.  With a timer it becomes about the destination, not the journey.  So pick your side.  And having the timer/not becomes somewhat of a social statement in the movie, a ready identifier of people who live by different philosophies regarding fate and romance.

Would you get a timer if they really existed?  After devoting more time to pondering a romantic comedy than I ever have or ever will again, I can safely say that I don't think I would.  I don't know that I could handle the pressure or the disappointment of its certainty.  I read the horoscope in line at the coffee shop and that's enough to rattle me, so do I really need to know the facts about my long-term future?  Nope!

Anyhow, I was excited to watch my first movie of the year and the fiftyfifty.me challenge, and it got me thinking that I might explore a "sci-fi romantic comedy" major.  (Yeah, I didn't know that existed until yesterday either.)  It might end up being a minor, because there really aren't that many options.  But so far I've found another couple of movies that might fit in my sci fi romcom category, Peggy Sue Got Married (which I've never seen) and Happy Accidents (which I'd never heard of).  The key is to see how they can work comedy into it. They always throw a hot chick into sci fi movies to keep the boys entertained, so the challenge is in making it cute.

By the way, am I the only person who sees "romantic comedy" and automatically thinks "Meg Ryan"? Just wondering. 

As for Book #1, I'm slogging through The Tiger's Wife by Tea Obrecht.  The book is covered in praise, which can be hit or miss.  Usually I'm skeptical, but right now my defenses are down because last year I read Jennifer Egan's Visit From the Goon Squad, equally decorated with accolades, and it totally delivered.  The writing in Tiger is good, but not keeping me up at night.  I'm hoping it picks up- I have lots to do!  The last time I put so many holds on books/movies at the library I was 12.  In the meantime, I will probably diversify and read something else, just so I don't, you know, lose all my enthusiasm about reading. Ok, slightly dramatic.

If you guys are fiftyfifty'ing, rest assured that I'm trawling your blogs and goodreads lists for suggestions.  The question isn't whether I'll get 50/50 done- I think I will. The key is to actually enjoy what I dive into.  I can safely say that on movies, I'm 1 for 1 so far.  Hooray!

Fiftyfifty.me : The Lazy Man's Flash Mob

As you know by now, I like a good challenge.  I am one of those weirdos who actually keeps a bucket list.  I'm very much a "Why not?" person when it comes to trying new things (except jumping out of planes. Planes are my chosen form of transportation, people.)
 
My friend-author-philosopher-hero Jon mentioned to me that he was going to read 50 books and watch 50 movies in the coming year.

Are you kidding me? Are you crazy?  Who has that kind of time?

Wait... I want in too.

And then I thought of a few friends I thought would enjoy it -- so we set to creating the Fifty Fifty challenge. And guess what, you're invited. 

On the FiftyFifty.me website, we each offered a post about why we were doing this.  Jon said he was doing it because he needs to read more.  He's always reading!  But, as per his post, he confessed that he doesn't finish everything he starts, and he tends to read a lot of articles instead of full books.  He also confesses to having a spreadsheet about what books he's reading, but that's neither here nor there.

The thing is, everyone has their own reason for taking a challenge on.  Maybe you're bored.  Maybe you want cheaper entertainment.  Maybe you feel guilty about all those books you bought.  Maybe you have way too much time on your hands.  Maybe you have insomnia.  Maybe you need something to make you feel better about how many hours you spend watching E!

If something in you is inspired to join us, I hope you'll drop by the fiftyfifty.me website, add your name to the list, and skim the "rules".  Introduce yourself, start prepping your list (or, don't make a list at all and see where the year takes you).  Tell your friends, make them hold you to it.  [For a bonus round, seal your deal with this handy little app we made. <---- shameless plug by author]

FiftyFifty.me -- a mob of people, all doing the same thing.  But here's the clincher- you don't even have to leave your couch!  (I know, that sold me too)

Now, I didn't say it would be easy.  Even though they'd take less time, I envision myself rushing on the film side in December 2012.  I am having repeated visions of someone opening my apartment door to find me holed up a la Howard Hughes, watching movie after movie in a desperate attempt to catch up before the deadline.  Either way, it will be fun.

Let me know what you'll be reading/watching in 2012, and if you're up for it, tell me why.
50 books. 50 movies. 1 you. 1 year.
Let's do this.


My fiftyfifty.me post is included below.

**

Once upon a time there was a girl who read everything she said she wanted to read and watched every movie that had been recommended to her. And she lived happily ever after, or something like that.

See, it's really all about setting intentions.

Whenever people walk into my home for the first time, they say "Wow, you have so many books."  There are books stacked on my kitchen counter, in stacks in my bedroom, laying by the fireplace, exploding from 2 bookshelves.  There is barely enough room for everything I want to read in my life - literally (oh, the puns!). So this is the year I'm going to do it.

One day when I was being a snob and talking about how I always prefer to read, a friend stopped me and pointed out that books and films are important counterparts.  The bookworm in me was horrified, but quickly realized she's right; you probably don't have a completely fulfilled cultural life if you're engaging in one and not the other.  It's about finding the right movies to watch; just like it's about the books that keep you up at night.

I'm looking forward to using this challenge to inspire myself to knock things off my list that have been there forever.  To finish my favorite author Milan Kundera's bibliography.  To lie around and take in classic films I'm ashamed not to have seen yet (Auntie Mame and Sunset Blvd come to mind). To blow through celeb bios that I have yet to prioritize the time to read (David Hasselhoff, I'm on my way!)  To read some of the classics I have never touched.  To watch Gladiator and Braveheart so I can stop giving blank looks to men who refer to them constantly. 

More than the challenge to myself, I'm looking forward to hearing and learning about what other people (you!) are reading and watching, 50 times over, rinse and repeat.  Basically I'm in it to see what happens when we devote a year to driving ourselves absolutely berzerk trying to get it done.  Let the intellectual experiments begin...

Start stretching!

Must-See: Beats, Rhymes & Life

I've never been to the movies by myself before. This weekend I came damn close, when no one seemed that interested in seeing Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest with me. Yes, that's how much I wanted to see it that my compulsively social self was ready to buy a ticket and walk straight in - alone (gasp!). Eventually my kind sister took me, secured with a promise that I would return the favor and see Harry Pottah with her. The things I am willing to do for the love of a good movie.

I was late on the BR&L train; I only learned about it right around when there was some drama bubbling up over the relationship between A Tribe Called Quest, specifically Q-Tip and director Michael Rapaport. Without seeing the movie, I was quick to side against Rapaport because something about him bugs (yes, I dismiss people out of hand like that). It's probably the fact that he makes faces like this:

Going into the movie, you'd think it's going to be a light trip down memory lane. A reminder of the days when it was ok, in fact advisable, to wear baggy jean overalls in public (one strap undone, obviously). And you do get to relive a few memories- the rush of pushing RECORD-PLAY together to grab a song off the radio, or the feel of your first ghettoblaster. But the movie isn't just about the beats or the rhymes, the accent is on "life".

What's so fascinating about the film is that, yes, as has been publicized ad nauseum, Rapaport focuses in on the issues between Phife and Q-Tip. But his chosen emphasis couldn't be more timely. We live in a time when our popular music is manufactured (literally, in Sweden). We take our insight into the musical process from soundbites carefully fed to Rolling Stone or US Weekly. BR&L is much looser (Phife's attention is on the french toast he and his wife are baking, not saying the perfect thing, for example). So it ends up shedding light on the process but also the stresses of creating music when it is a collaboration and a group effort.

After we watched, my sister pointed out "What happened to hip-hop groups? Now everyone is solo." Sure, there are a few (I'm listening to Beastie Boys as I type this), but not many. ATCQ is a relic - how many major *new* hip-hop groups can you think of that have multiple emcee's? Exactly. The idea of getting three-plus groups to form a mega-group a la Native Tongues would never happen today.

It's something you don't think about- I mean, novels are written by one author. Or paintings are painted by one artist. There's no "Hold on- give me your brush. Wait, let me dip it in red. Ok, now try that." If there was, the homocide rate in the world would rise instantly. This sort of collaboration is rather unique to music, and it's something that has become more rare in the hip hop genre.

Put simply, it seems like hip hop artists just don't play as well with others as they used to. They're more likely to bag on each other than to talk them up. It's done for promotion (example: Kanye and JayZ getting ready to release an album together) but they don't melt into one group. The amazing thing about Tribe is that, growing up, most people didn't focus on (or probably even know) the individual members. It's true- you might have known Q-Tip but 99% chance that was after he made his name when he appeared on the Beastie Boys' track Get it Together.

BR&L attacks another nagging question, one that I think about a lot: What happens when you turn what you love into what you do? It's dangerous business. We forget, when we're listening to a record, happily drowning in its beats and sounds, that it took a process to get there, that someone probably stayed up at night, sleepless, trying to figure out a transition or a track list, or how to produce that particular beat just right. We're swamped with so much music now that we can barely keep up, much less on the dynamics or process of one group. We just consume and move on, music bingers. As a result, seeing a famous artist (here: Q-Tip) take his time sorting through records at a store, or sitting in his room to personally pick out a hook is incredible and pretty rare footage.

But this talent comes with risks and challenges (I didn't say I felt bad for them, I'm just observing!). At one point Q-Tip points out that for an artist, "there is no retirement". And he looks depleted when he says this. This isn't a money-making endeavor for him, it's a compulsion, and one that seems to inspire him but also weigh him down. For Jarobi there are other decisions to make; what happens when you are multi-talented?

It's a movie we debated through our lunch afterwards (and in that you have the makings of a great film, because if you can distract me from my food, that says a lot about your work.) And it's easy to talk about for a long time because the story of ATCQ serves as the backdrop to something even bigger. The movie is as much about the rise of the hip-hop scene as about friendship, about the dangers of mixing business and pleasure, the dynamics of making your own art in a commercial space, and the stressors of figuring out who you want to be when you grow up and who you're gonna take with you on that journey. Ultimately, being a Tribe fan is bonus on the journey, but if you're not already, the movie will probably make a fan out of you.

In case anyone is going to do a biopic, I've already thought about this and I'm casting Bill Cosby as Q-Tip and Cedric the Entertainer as Phife Dawg. My casting consultation services are available upon request.

Must-See: Incendies (2010)

It’s amazing how playing hooky in your thirties has the same enjoyment it did as a teenager. That is, if you had had the nerve to ever step outside the lines during said teenagehood. Yesterday my mom wanted to go see Incendies and I could only make a matinee, so I shut down the laptop and we snuck into a rare almost-empty theater to watch it. (ugh, the only time I played hooky it’s with my mom. I don’t even want to know what that says about me). It’s difficult to write this without providing spoilers, so I’ll keep it short and say that some movies are just important to see, and I think Incendies may be one of them.

There’s something to be said for watching a movie about the immigrant mother’s experience with your parent, who happens to be an immigrant herself. Specifically, Incendies is about a woman whose death prompts (ok, the death doesn’t, the letters she leaves behind do) her children to realize that maybe they didn’t know her at all.

The movie is gorgeous shot after shot of a country in the Middle East. It’s a country torn by violence. Check. And prejudice. Check. It’s set against beautiful views. Check. And troubled history. Check. The truth is, it could be anywhere in the Arabic-speaking Middle East. The fact that this country is never named is as important as any other element of the movie. The acting, as in most powerful films, is as much in its silent moments as in its dialogue. Against this background, the story operates with flashbacks to the mother’s history moving forward while the children retrace her steps.

Seeing this movie reminded me how lazy we can be with our family history. By “we” I mean the children of parents who immigrated to the United States, gave us our Nintendos and our Michael Jackson posters, and didn’t require us to become fluent in their history. Without them spoon feeding it to us, how connected do we choose to be with the lives they led before us?

While every parent can have secrets or a past their kids don’t quite get, parents who have immigrated add another layer to this mystery. The mystery comes from the fact that they have to communicate not only their stories and experiences, but set against a backdrop their children can hardly imagine. A lot of them choose not to take on the challenge of describing a world they know their children can’t envision. So they play along with the new lives they have created here.

As the daughter walked her mother’s village I realized that is an experience many people never have- it takes a trip to the motherland and escaping constant family eating marathons in order to see landmarks that meant something to your parents. We rarely get to meet people who knew our parents in a non-family context. While I have friends who debated pledging the same sorority as generations in her family, I struggle to remember the names of my parents’ colleges.

In the case of Iranian children, our parents’ own memories are further challenged by the fact that, since they left, the street names have changed, as if the country doesn’t want them to be able to remember.

Immigration is a tough experience, particularly when people don’t always choose it. I can’t imagine up and moving to Japan, even though I’ve heard great things about it; getting fluent in Japanese and raising my children so that’s what we speak at home. I can’t imagine them telling me they’re not in a rush to see the United States and that they consider themselves Japanese. It’s unfathomable to me, but that’s basically what happened to my parents.

As the daughter in the film continued moving forward, uncovering step after step of her mother’s secret life, I wondered: was it a question of her not having asked enough questions? Or the right questions? Do we assume if something is important that our parent will bring it up? In many cases, I think we are guilty of thinking it’s easier to just let things be.

I Saw 127 Hours & Read The Hunger Games... and Now I Know I'm a Wimp

My new rule is that the less I know about or anticipate a movie, the more likely I am to enjoy it. The opposite is definitely true; the movies you wait forever to see (see also: Sex and the City 2) pin you to your theater chair in absolute despair as the admission price and sheer will keep you from getting up and salvaging the rest of your day.

The other night I was meeting up with with old friends and we wanted to catch a movie. The thing is, much as we're friends, we've never gone to a movie together. So what would we see? I suggested a movie I had heard good things about and thought at least one of the other two was likely to like- 127 Hours starring James Franco. The description you hear on that one is "the movie about the hiker who cut off his arm", which is not much of a pitch/movie trailer. But, per my new rule, that made it a more likely selection for me. And let's be honest, James Franco on screen for 90 minutes? It could have been a freakin screensaver (which coincidentally is Susie's assessment of Lawrence of Arabia) and I would be in.

I was interested to see how the director would make this story of Aron Ralston's struggle between a rock and a hard place (literally) something the rest of us would want to watch. Would it be Cast Away: Part Deux, with less Wilson, more Clif Bar? The idea of a 90 minute monologue worried me, but again, relying on James Franco's beauty and ability to make even the smallest role interesting, off we went.

As it turns out, 127 Hours is creatively done, telling the story through gorgeous cinematography, flashbacks, and intriguing fantasy interludes. It flew by, and there was a good soundtrack to boot. A few hours (his time) into the ordeal, my mind started to wander. What if that had been me?

As the movie went on, I was more and more impressed with Ralston's resourcefulness. Is that learned, or is it something that comes to you in a moment of crisis? Setting up a pulley to create suspensions so he could dangle and sleep, for example. I never would have done it. So, that begs the question: what would I have done?

Well, I would have probably started by feeling really bad for myself. Then I would have thought about who I could possibly blame for the predicament I was in. In the movie he seemed to go right to self-blame, which I'm sure I'd eventually circle to, but then you're cutting out the fun part of pinning your troubles on someone who isn't there to defend themselves. I would have probably yelled until I was hoarse. And then I would have probably died of a heart attack because I have incurable fear of the dark and particularly the intersection of animals and the dark. Also, I don't do cold.

These same questions came to the surface when I read The Hunger Games trilogy recently. Long story short, a group of kids 12-18 are put in a biodome to fight to the death, with only one surviving. My strategy in the Games was clear to me, because I worked it out as I turned the pages of the books. While everyone duked it out, I would have grabbed provisions and run for the hills. So, even as a thirtysomething, I am aware that I basically would have played a very hopeful game of Hide and Go Seek with my life on the line.

Although, who knows, maybe I would surprise myself in a similar situation to the one in 127 Hours. Maybe I could be like one of those women who lifts a car off her child, surprised by her strength. It would be ideal to be one of those people who has incredible survival skills (MacGyver), since I'm in awe of them, but I'm probably not *like* them at my core. Partially because I'm lazy and partially because I'm curious about what comes next and I believe in fate, so if I got such a cue that it was time for my exit I'm not sure I'd *know* to fight for survival. I could actually die of just being too dumb to realize I didn't have to. I probably would have misread the cue of the falling rock as "the end" rather than "there's a way out". This is an aspect of myself that perhaps I should work on now ;)

I'm trying to write this without spoilers, because I really do want anyone who sees this to take the time to watch it. There aren't very many movies that make you think or make you feel good or inspire you these days, so I don't want to ruin anything. But, generally speaking, what was amazing was that not only did Ralston find creative ways to keep his cool (he was very aware that if he lost it it was bad news), but he stayed positive and realized what he was meant to learn from the experience. Somehow that felt more than inspiring, it felt miraculous. And the benefit of seeing the movie was to experience, on some level, his predicament, and learn lessons through his experience *without* having to go through it yourself. I'm always grateful for those stories... Although it did make my Torrey Pines hike the next morning a bit tense.

When we left, Tina noted that she had felt too guilty to drink her bottle of water during the movie. Same here. The good news is that my new ability to forgo water made me feel a step closer to those survival instincts I was craving just a paragraph ago.

Solidarity and inspiration, not bad for a Friday night.

La Jolla Holiday

"I hate this nightgown. I hate all my nightgowns... and I hate all my underwear too!!!"


So last night I finally saw Roman Holiday . My friend got us tickets to see "Flicks on the Bricks" at the Atheneum; they sit you outside, this particular night with a Bellini in hand, and you get to watch classic movies thrown up on a big white wall out in the summer air.

I loved the movie, to pieces. The script was impeccable, the acting was fabulous, and Gregory Peck was oh so easy on the eyes. Which brings me to the evergreen question : Why do movies suck these days? Dinner With Schmucks, I'm talking to you.

The movie is awesome for a number of reasons:
1) Audrey Hepburn's impulsive haircut. This moment rings in the hearts of women worldwide, I assure you.

2) The script was impeccable.
Princess Ann: I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on... With my dress off, it's MOST unusual.

3) You can take a moment to envision what it would be like to be royalty. I can't be the only person who sat there imagining if I could get away with telling my friends things like "You may be seated." I'm halfway there though, I leave the house without my wallet all the time.

4) Classic men.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, but classic leading men are something else. I was raised on the likes of Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant. I would love to be a fly on the wall when any of them were sent the Twilight script. Mad Men is trying to bring back the classic leading man, but they still have to make him a little bit scuzzy to compete with Jersey Shore and other fine television fare. So as for revising the classic man, it just can't be done.

On a related note, let's be clear, we're being misled on some of this movie: I just got back from Rome in June and I didn't meet anyone looking even vaguely like Gregory Peck. I didn't even see anyone who looked like that if I drank fast and squinted my eyes. Looks aside, the charm was lacking too - the closest I've come in Italy was meeting some googly-eyed Italian guys who told me I looked like a famous actress... then clarified for me that they meant "the comedian! Whoopi Goldberg!"

For those of you who don't know me, I'm not black. Also, I have eyebrows.

As for last night, I left with a mixed feeling of happiness (because I'd had such a fun night) and complete dread (at the cultural wasteland that surrounds me). But to be fair, I realize that I play a part in this machine, refreshing my "US Weekly Blog" screen as regularly as I do.

Escaping is nice. I'm sure you got the same takeaway I did - May we all pass out on a bench in a strange city and hope for the best!

Julie, Julia, and Lilly.

Well I saw the movie I've been waiting for. There was a summer of absolutely nothing interesting in theaters and then suddenly they're coming at me all at once- Julie & Julia, Time Traveler's Wife, 500 Days of Summer, The Cove. So much to see that it makes a girl consider getting a part-time job at a movie theater.

Before I go any further I have to confess that I'm listening to The [London] Royal Symphony Orchestra play the best of George Michael. I don't confess so much to get this off my chest as I do to let people know that such a masterpiece exists. Ha.

So something about seeing this movie tonight inspired creativity in me that just hasn't been there in too long. I rushed first to the grocery store (where, granted, I bought a box of mac and cheese that I've just polished off) and then home to my computer. OH, wait, duh. She's a blogger. So it's not just creativity but also a reminder that I have a barely-watered blog that is withering away out here. So for all four readers, howdy!


What is it about this movie that is so freaking feel-good? I honestly could have done without the Julie half of it. She was irritating and self-centered and the redeeming side wasn't really there for me. If it had been played by anyone but Amy Adams, I think my annoyance would hae peaked, but they picked someone likeable, which was key. But Meryl Streep, man, she's something else. It goes beyond good acting. Susie leaned over and asked me if she ever makes bad, unwatchable movies. And before I could bring up Mamma Mia (which I personally liked but thought Susie would find unwatchable) she said "I even watched her sing Abba and I liked her". So the reasonable conclusion is that she's an acting goddess.


I was trying to think of what makes for a good movie today. Certainly good acting counts, but in general I think the rule is much like a good book- if you can make someone care about something they never normally would, you have been successful in making a good film. I had never thought twice about Julia Child or the art of French cooking in particular, but now I'm fascinated (as is the rest of the country).


I wondered if there was a similar task I could undertake- to do such-and-such within a year and write about it, but I really don't know what that would be. I mean, I basically already do what interests me and avoid what doesn't. Right now I'm on a 60 day nonstop workout challenge, but who wants to hear about that? (not me) I need some new endeavor unlike anything else I've ever done in my life. Maybe I should just aim to try 100 recipes in the next year. That would be something, but I'd just wanna eat it, not write about it. BOOORING. (also, i have no problem with cooking, it's the grocery portion that bugs, or specifically, the lugging it upstairs). Anyhow, it's cool that she had a great idea and did well with it. It all wraps up nicely in the film for both ladies, and life so rarely does. The perfect matinee fare.


In other news, during my grocery trip today I officially avoided someone. When did San Diego become so small that I have to duck for cover? The only other time I've done that was when a guy I'd been emailing with on Match was at the grocery store (apparently grocery stores are not for me). I was pretty sure it was him and GO FIGURE (this stuff only happens to me) that I had just gotten out of my sweatiest-ever Bikram session. I went to the grocery store straight after (which I never do), one in a part of town I rarely shop in, and to the most ghetto one possible. And there I look up and have this moment of recognition with someone I absolutely do NOT want to be recognized by. I mean, seriously, what freakin dating gods have I so pissed off that only after 90 minutes in a room of 105 degrees will they let me run into a cute boy? And especially one I almost have a chance with! (the guy and i went on our date as scheduled, said nothing about it, and were mutual disinterested. I live with the fiction that I look so good when I'm dressed up that I can have zero resemblance to post-gymus-lillyus)


As for tonight's game of Hide and Seek, I have no particular reason to avoid this person but he's given off a bit of an Ahole vibe and I didn't feel like being super friendly when I was in happy Julia Child land. He just moved to town and I haven't technically seen him in some 14 years but I've heard. I was so frozen with indecision about whether to walk forward and say hi/reintroduce myself or to turn that if he is at ALL observant I was probably peeped out. I was perched like a greeter at the entrance. But who knows. I figure that your parents can make you be nice to people when you're a kid, but when you're 31 and there's a whole world out there, you don't have to.


Well, the mac n cheese coma (ok, and 5 of those freaking delicious Paul Newman healthy oreos. someone please take them OUT of my house) is fading. Time to put in my workout for the day... until I think of a better road to fame and fortune.

And in a final note of complete humiliation, I just posted this to my company's website. OOOOPS.