Author's note: In the past I've debated taking this article down because folks misread it in the most incredible ways. But I think the 40+ comments just means that this is an important issue to people. And while I didn't intend for it to be an "issue" post, things take on their own lives.
To be clear, it was meant to be a rant about how some days you just don't want to work out, you wish you were one of those people who leans back, grins and says "Oh, I don't work out." I love working out, I love the energy it gives me, and I love that I have a hilarious workout partner who brought up the topic, keeping me laughing.
I would never endorse hating anyone literally. (If I really hated someone, am I dumb enough to put it in the title? No.) In a world where women are put under a microscope for their every flaw, particularly in the realm of body shape, I wouldn't want to encourage further scrutiny, and I guess I touched a nerve with some skinny people out there (sorry, skinny people!). I genuinely feel for people who have major body issues, and this wasn't meant to promote them. God knows that's the last thing they need.
That said, I also feel for people who live a routine of working out, only to get up and have to do it all over again. The jokes in here are for them, something to chuckle about (although I don't encourage chuckling as a general rule) as they do that afternoon on the elliptical wishing someone would FOR THE LOVE OF GOD please change the channel from Maury at the gym.
*****
Today I emerged from my run sweaty and bitter. Jessica and I discussed (on the ironic elevator ride back down to our apartment) how we wonder what skinny people do with all their free time. Seriously. On a normal cardio day you're talking about 1 hour of workout plus shower/beautification. On a Bikram day I'm logging 1.5 hours of class plus .5 driving plus shower/beautification. That is a big chunk of my day!
So what DO skinny people do with that extra couple of hours they have in their day? Do they have higher intelligence because they read more in their free time? Do they contribute more work energy to the world? Are they at least sitting still for that 2 hours and not melting our freaking planet? I need answers!
Usually I'd turn to Jon Yang for answers, he being my favorite token skinny person, but he's writing his debut novel (yay! double yay for author plugging!) So Jon, just do me a favor and comment whenever you're procrastinating next.
Jessica made the wise suggestion (help me petition her for her own blog. She has much to contribute, I promise you.) that maybe skinny people should just have fewer hours in their day. I thought of this as a "sit in the corner and think... really THINK about what you've done!" situation. But she just thought they could have less and the universe could tack those extra hours onto my day (and perhaps yours). So my ability-to-be-productive day wouldn't be hampered by my love affair with the elliptical machine or my need for hot stinky sweat with strangers at ungodly hours of the mornings (on separate mats people, separate mats).
I know, I know. I'm not saying skinny people are healthier than the rest of us. I know, I read those articles too. What I'm saying is that many of them (and oh how I can list the exceptions) look as if they're healthy even though they don't even know what a basal metabolic rate is. I had a friend who once told me she simply "doesn't like to sweat". Seriously?! You can just decide that??? Sign me up.
In the interest of time and my desire to sleep enough before I wake up for another grueling workout, I'm going to stop myself before I dive over the precipice of discussing those who "eat everything and I just can't put on a pound!" Don't get me started.
I think skinny people owe the rest of us normal people an apology. You're throwing off the average weight scales at my doctor's office and you're making designers pee in their pants with excitement and I hate you for it. So answer me this- what DO you do with all that freaking extra time? How are you contributing to the universe while my kin and I jog (to the tune of Eye of the Tiger, when necessary)? That's right. You have made Sylvester Stallone a necessary part of my day, and you shall suffer!
Welcome to the new order. Take a seat skinny people. And think about what you did. No talking.
To be clear, it was meant to be a rant about how some days you just don't want to work out, you wish you were one of those people who leans back, grins and says "Oh, I don't work out." I love working out, I love the energy it gives me, and I love that I have a hilarious workout partner who brought up the topic, keeping me laughing.
I would never endorse hating anyone literally. (If I really hated someone, am I dumb enough to put it in the title? No.) In a world where women are put under a microscope for their every flaw, particularly in the realm of body shape, I wouldn't want to encourage further scrutiny, and I guess I touched a nerve with some skinny people out there (sorry, skinny people!). I genuinely feel for people who have major body issues, and this wasn't meant to promote them. God knows that's the last thing they need.
That said, I also feel for people who live a routine of working out, only to get up and have to do it all over again. The jokes in here are for them, something to chuckle about (although I don't encourage chuckling as a general rule) as they do that afternoon on the elliptical wishing someone would FOR THE LOVE OF GOD please change the channel from Maury at the gym.
*****
Today I emerged from my run sweaty and bitter. Jessica and I discussed (on the ironic elevator ride back down to our apartment) how we wonder what skinny people do with all their free time. Seriously. On a normal cardio day you're talking about 1 hour of workout plus shower/beautification. On a Bikram day I'm logging 1.5 hours of class plus .5 driving plus shower/beautification. That is a big chunk of my day!
So what DO skinny people do with that extra couple of hours they have in their day? Do they have higher intelligence because they read more in their free time? Do they contribute more work energy to the world? Are they at least sitting still for that 2 hours and not melting our freaking planet? I need answers!
Usually I'd turn to Jon Yang for answers, he being my favorite token skinny person, but he's writing his debut novel (yay! double yay for author plugging!) So Jon, just do me a favor and comment whenever you're procrastinating next.
Jessica made the wise suggestion (help me petition her for her own blog. She has much to contribute, I promise you.) that maybe skinny people should just have fewer hours in their day. I thought of this as a "sit in the corner and think... really THINK about what you've done!" situation. But she just thought they could have less and the universe could tack those extra hours onto my day (and perhaps yours). So my ability-to-be-productive day wouldn't be hampered by my love affair with the elliptical machine or my need for hot stinky sweat with strangers at ungodly hours of the mornings (on separate mats people, separate mats).
I know, I know. I'm not saying skinny people are healthier than the rest of us. I know, I read those articles too. What I'm saying is that many of them (and oh how I can list the exceptions) look as if they're healthy even though they don't even know what a basal metabolic rate is. I had a friend who once told me she simply "doesn't like to sweat". Seriously?! You can just decide that??? Sign me up.
In the interest of time and my desire to sleep enough before I wake up for another grueling workout, I'm going to stop myself before I dive over the precipice of discussing those who "eat everything and I just can't put on a pound!" Don't get me started.
I think skinny people owe the rest of us normal people an apology. You're throwing off the average weight scales at my doctor's office and you're making designers pee in their pants with excitement and I hate you for it. So answer me this- what DO you do with all that freaking extra time? How are you contributing to the universe while my kin and I jog (to the tune of Eye of the Tiger, when necessary)? That's right. You have made Sylvester Stallone a necessary part of my day, and you shall suffer!
Welcome to the new order. Take a seat skinny people. And think about what you did. No talking.
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