Resolve This.

Happy first week of the year down!

Have I mentioned how much I love making New Year's resolutions?  I LOVE MAKING NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS.  Sometimes my resolutions overlap with my bucket list, which as you know by now, I am slightly obsessed with.  I think this is all a symptom of my larger list-making obsession.  I make resolutions for the regular new year, for Persian New Year/Norooz (March) and on an ongoing basis with friends; any excuse, really.  I'm the kind of person who would put "Make new year's resolutions" on my list.

I used to put my resolutions up on my refrigerator, but one year I had "Learn to knit baby blankets" on my list because so many girlfriends were having kids and I thought they would make cute gifts.  Note to self: this is not appropriate decor when a date is over.  I had a little explaining to do.  So now I'm keeping it between me and my blog (and you, I guess). 

In past years, resolutions have included travel, going out more, drinking more water & wine than soda (I should probably revive that one), stepping it up with the fitness, keeping in better touch with people, making more girlfriends in my city, etc.  I've been pretty good about holding myself to them in the past and I hope the pattern will continue this year, but I also hope I will pick more interesting resolutions.  The key is really picking things you'll actually do.  As I like to point out, certain things are just never gonna happen. I'm not going to give up being sarcastic or quit coffee. I'm not going to magically remember to include attachments when I send emails.  So why set myself up for failure?


This year's list is working out nicely so far, although there aren't too many surprises yet:


2012 Resolutions:
1) Do more yoga.
Specifically, to learn to do a proper headstand in yoga without collapsing, knocking the wind out of me (and possibly the person next to me)

2) Don't eat standing up.
This is a symptom of my life, which is led largely on the run, like a refugee from the law but much less interesting.  So either I need to become that interesting, or I need to sit down and properly get to enjoy my meals.

3) Do fiftyfifty.me. 
50 books, 50 movies, all new to me, to be torn through this year.  This is the resolution I am by far most excited about.  I'm all signed up- are you?  I tend to read a lot every year and in the back of my mind aim for 50 books, but haven't ever been able to nail it.  Movies, however, are a whole other story.  I've only started to become a movie fan in the past few years, and devote little to no time to it. Subresolution: to finish reading Milan Kundera's bibliography.  He's my favorite writer by far, and I've saved a few of his books to read on a rainy day (or if ever in the hospital in traction, etc. And yes, I save books for this.)  On the off chance the world ends in 2012, I need to probably get to the last few of these ;)

4) Go new places.
This is always on my list. Last year landed me in Nashville and Colombia, two of my favorite vacations, for example.  I'm excited to see what opportunities come up this year. New Orleans is definitely in the cards, but I'm worried you'll never be able to tear me out of a jazz bar once I'm seated.  I am trying to find a way to get over to Africa, specifically to Senegal.  I haven't been to some of the beautiful parks in California.  Stuff like that.   I don't know where this year will take me, but I've found that actually promising yourself to try new venues leads you to, you know, actually do it.  I'm open to suggestions if you have 'em!

5) Find somewhere new to volunteer. 
Step it up. I do volunteer communications work with Real Medicine Foundation and I support mAss Kickers Foundation, but I miss hands-on experience working with clients and seeing the first-hand effects of volunteering.  So some of that.  Perhaps this will be the year I become a Big Sister and formally pass my 80s music knowledge to the next generation? 

6) Respond to emails within 24 hours. 
This is beyond impossible, but it's nice to have goals! I heard this from an executive I work with - and he really does keep to it. Granted, his emails are to the extent of "Thanks" "Sounds good", etc. and I tend to write War and Peace: The Sequel in my emails, but I'd like to get back to people while the content of their emails is still relevant.

7) Use the phone more, email less. 
Remember back when we had personal contact? Yeah, that.

8) Entertain in the home more.
I'm constantly out, which is fun but not totally personal and, sure, expensive.  I love it but I think this year I'll try to mix it up and make use of my place more- cook dinners, gather friends, just lounge around and make it even more homey. Homie?


9) Travel guy.
I didn't even know this was a resolution for me, but we were babbling about resolutions when we hiked to the waterfall in Colombia and this one came tumbling out of my mouth.  Apparently (says my subconscious?) I want to be with a guy I am excited to travel with, and to go ahead and travel with him. Traveling well together is obviously a great way to assess how you guys fare generally, but I love travel and I realize it's something I need someone else to be into- exploring places, going beyond your limits.  From his love of travel I would apparently be able to draw sweeping generalizations about his understanding of his place in the world.  Ok, but if we're being honest, there's also the little fact that there are places I want to go that would be a lot of fun with my girlfriends, but a male bodyguard would be nice and/or necessary (for one thing).  Plus, as great of a time as we have, I have to stop accidentally going on romantic-destination vacations with my best girlfriends.  See also: Mexico, Paris, Greece, cruises, the Caribbean.  I mean, seriously.

10) Develop a new talent.
Obviously I don't know what this one is gonna be, but knowing me it will be a little off the wall. Archery, anyone?


11) Write more. 
And here we are.

Yearbook, Minus The Ugly Pictures: Bye Bye 2010

Today I told someone that my motto was now "2011: Better than 2010". I have been wishing everyone that 2011 be their best year yet, but maybe that's just setting the expectation too high? Normally I say I had a good year, but let's be honest, there were a lot of reasons 2010 kinda sucked, and not just because for half of it any time I turned the TV on, I was greeted by the Cabbage-Patch-Kid-as-grownup face of Snookie. Ugh. A quick recap:

What Was Junky About 2010:

*Many friends' loved ones passed away. More than any year year before. Realizing that maybe that's just what happens when you get older, and not liking it one bit; it was too much tragedy everywhere we turned. I was constantly being reminded of how short life is and that we are not owed time, and more importantly, I was being reminded that there is some pain I can't take away for people, and feeling helpless in that regard. The obsessive optimist in me tried to turn it into living it up a bit more and expressing my love for people -- especially those friends -- more often.

*My neighbor who reads my garbage decided NOT to move after all. As a result, daydreams of hot new straight (in my building you have to specify) neighbor moving in did not pan out.

*Realized I needed to part ways with some people in my life. Broke my own heart doing so. It was kinda like the heart version of what Aron Ralston had to do.

*Working myself sick. Literally. Realized I'm not invincible. Disappointment.

*Realizing I need to prioritize better in my life.

There's more, but that gives you the idea.

What I Loved in 2010:

*Traveled tons, as I had promised myself - I rang in the new year in Hong Kong and jetted to Indonesia that morning. Later in the year I did a road trip through Tuscany with hilarious girlfriends. Visited new cities including Houston and Atlanta. And in the fall I went on a Caribbean cruise (in theory). I am ending the year in Vegas, my home away from home.

*Watching my mom publish Sky of Red Poppies, her novel that she has been working on for 23 years. Throwing her book launch party. Watching this gorgeous novel be received by people all over the country who responded to and have supported it beyond my wildest dreams.

*Spending time with friends who make me laugh til it hurts. I'm not naming names, they know who they are.

*Working on my bucket list and my travel list.

*Knocking "Learn to sail" off said bucket list.

*Helping promote Real Medicine Foundation's work around the world and specifically in Haiti. Feeling for once that I wasn't just watching a world disaster, I was doing something to help.

*Reading my face off. A smashing year for Celebrity Trash Bio Book Club, for one thing, by far the best-attended book club in history. Reading The Hunger Games, the first book to completely suck me in in a while; made me gasp out loud and talk back to the book, etc. Recommending it to friends who don't have time to read but made time to, and then loved it too.

*Got way stronger. Can almost do the splits. (It's the little things.)

*Out of town visitors. Old friends, including my old roomie and one of my best friends from high school, came through San Diego. Whoever said old friends are the best friends had it right.

*Seeing an issue that had been plaguing my sister come to an end. Seeing how empowered her art makes her.

*Cooking tons more. Feel so comfy in the kitchen these days. Not ashamed to wear onion goggles in front of other people.

*Seeing so many friends become wonderful new moms. Getting to know my friends' kids. Whispering in their ears that they should come back to me in 18 years for the real dirt.

Favorite moments in 2010:

*Lying in the sun at the resort in Kuta, Indonesia the first week of 2010. Specifically, the part where, in the blazing sun, I carried on a debate with my travel partners over whether the European guy lying on the chair next to us was a member of a-ha. Letting myself think it was.

*Looking around and realizing I was the only woman in conference room on the Exec team and realizing that it took me about two years to even notice.

*The moment when I decided to officially burn my boats.

*Any and all of my hikes with friends at Torrey Pines or walks in PB along the boardwalk with JG, recapping our weeks and strategizing fun and mayhem for days to come.

*Lying in the sun on my pool deck reading the day after I got back from the cruise from hell. Realizing that I pretty much live a vacation life and perhaps I should never leave again.

*Having one of my best friends (my freshman year, rooming-blind roommate from U of M) move across the street in San Diego.

*Jessica's birthday weekend, which gave us occasion to round up a few college girlfriends who and hit a newer club in town. Realizing through said escapade that as much as everything changes, nothing does. (hazing with drinks, giggling about boys, and stories that will be retold for years) Shortly thereafter, describing my life to someone as "just like college, but with more disposable income", perhaps one of the best highlights of my year, that quote.

*Going to Faith No More with my brother. Feeling like he's not my baby brother but a really freakin fun friend. Seeing FNM sing Reunited and Easy live. Loving them as much as I did when I was 16, and not feeling a day older.

*Christmas dinner, sitting around my parents' dining table listening to my parents and their friends tell endless stories about their fathers' bad driving back in Iran. Laughing til we were all crying.

Resolutions 2011 (a work in progress):

*make it to Nashvegas

*listen to jazz in a New Orleans jazz bar

*read War and Peace, to prove it isn't just a doorstop in my house

*take up guitar again

*plan a trip to central or south america. go.

*sleep on the beach (once, not regularly)

*take up yoga again

*cook the perfect steak

*learn more about the history of classical music

*give more unexpected gifts

*learn how to conjugate Spanish beyond present tense

*read Acide Sulfurique (in French)

*learn how to make one of my mom's best dishes from her (fesenjoon?)

*blog more

It Takes Two.

So this year while blissfully flitting around the pool in Indonesia ("Resolution 1: Travel more") the first week of January, I worked on my New Year's Resolutions list. Most people make one, but I like to make a list, so I can cross a few off during the year and feel good about myself for the rest of it. Basically.

As I discussed with my girlfriends what my goals for 2010 would be, I announced "Learn to tango!" I realized, swimming around, complimentary tropical drink in hand, tempting sunstroke, that as soon as I returned, the tango class I had signed up for would begin. So I retroactively put "Learn to tango" on the resolutions list.

To be honest, I didn't have much of a sense of what tango would be like. It looks like a dramatic, passionate dance from what I've seen (which, granted, is 90% "Dancing With the Stars"). My reasons for taking it on weren't that I was inviting drama into my life (although passion, please note, you're welcome anytime). It was because although I have been a dancer my whole life, the forms of dance I have gravitated to were all individual or company dance. Nothing duetty. I did the normal suburban American kid dance classes (jazz, ballet, tap, oh my!) and when I was old enough to choose I went for hip hop. There was no hand holding and certainly no following anyone else's lead. I choreographed, I was the boss.

I decided that for 2010 I wanted to learn to let someone *else* handle the decisionmaking. In this way, tango was perfect for me. You get into your hold and then follow the male lead as they turn you this way or that, directing you with their torso and the slightest of gestures.

Now, I'm only about a month into the class, going once a week, but I have already learned so much. Yeah, of course I"ve learned the dance stuff- frame, balance, and my favorite new move, aka "clean your shoe on his leg" (yes, this is what they call that seductive footsie move when you are in a beginner class). Here's what I've learned -- so far.

1) Much like the Transformers, there's more than meets the eye. I'm taking my class at UCSD, so I expected a high percentage of nerdage. I'm not gonna say I was disappointed BUT I will tell you that the nerdy, sweet, unsuspecting guy could very well be the best dancer in class. And the macho looking men who you'd think would be the best dancers are (in my experience) just bossy dancers. Um, I'm paying the instructor, not you, so no need to tutor me Mr. He's Been in Class Two Weeks Longer Than Me. My dance partner the first week Li Ming, a quiet guy, led me with great posture and noted that "when we dance together it's like a ballet!" At first I laughed, but then I realized he was kinda right.

2) Everyone wants to be a professional tango dancer. Self-explanatory. There are a few people in the class who are there because they're intent on becoming professional tango dancers. Keep in mind we're taking what is basically a community class. I just thought that was notable. I mean, I've gone my whole life without meeting a single person whose aspirations involved professional tangoage, but now it's very de rigeur.

3) Tango dance students are the worst dressers. Possibly on the planet. I'm showing some restraint here, but let's just say that the first week's class involved a girl in a pair of hot pink cotton gaucho pants that looked like they were made for someone 7 feet tall. And I thought of forgiving them... until they caught wind and lifted to reveal...black clogs.

4) My teacher came to class the first week in two different shoes. I don't mean she changed shoes the way Diana Ross, ahem, Beyonce, changes costumes at an award show. I mean she had one shoe on her left foot and a completely different one on her right.

5) The tango mirrors male-female relationships. I'd go into this more, but Gloria Steinem's on the other line, so I'm going to choose my words carefully and revisit this one.

6) Tango is the only place where men can wear shoes with a slight heel and look ok. Oh wait, no they don't. I'm sure you're a great dancer, tango-shod guy who I danced with the first week, but your footwear also makes me feel slightly like I'm dancing with another woman.

7) People's interest in tango is inversely proportional to their interest in brushing their teeth.

8) Tango people suck at math. NO they really do. I thought they were all science people, but now I'm sensing the liberal arts because whenever the teachers tell us to pair off there is mass confusion. I don't mean for a second, I mean there is confusion where the teachers have to stop class and line us up... in TWO LINES. You would never in a million years think you were dealing with a group of functioning, professional adults. Which is fine, because I'm always game for mild entertainment. It's like kickball-team-selection-mayhem all over again.

For many weeks there has been a serious man shortage. It's like WWII all over again (I imagine, not having lived through the era myself). However, with every week the deficit is being addressed, and in last week's class, we were only one guy short.

Time after time I found myself dancing alone (and by alone I mean not even my teacher would stay to pity dance with me before rushing off to check form). I figured that's no big deal for one dance, and that when the song changed to a new one, I'd rotate into a new partner, as per the format of the class. However, everyone would move around, partner up, and I was STILL DANCING ALONE. This happened for an hour straight. At one point I even walked up to a couple and said "Hate to break you guys up!" because everyone else was rotating and this was clearly a college couple not ready to part. So they looked down and then to the wall until I walked away.

Suffice it to say that for the rest of the night, I just tried to look very very busy while everyone stayed paired off.

I'm not even going to go to expand on the analogies for this one. Suffice it to say next week I'll be bringing a friend.