Once upon a time many years ago a little sister found herself not a big fan of her older sister's dating choices. So rather than roll her eyes, she rolled up her sleeves and quietly stepped in to see if SHE couldn't do better...
Cleaning my inbox tonight, I found a Craigslist post...about me... that my sister had put up moments before admitting the same to me (the admission came via IM. smart girl)
In honor of our sisterly mutual admiration of Millionaire Matchmaker, and mostly because I don't want to ever lose track of this entertaining piece of history, I'm sharing it with you here.
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i have a sister who is awesome (and 28 years old). she's been single for awhile, and i feel like all the guys she dates are eye candy/dumb/just not right or nice to her (she usually goes out with hunky tall, dark and handsome assholes - if you're tall, dark and handsome, please keep reading, but if you're an asshole, then there's no need to continue.)
i hereby am holding auditions for the role of 'potential future boyfriend', which may develop into the role of 'potential future friend' or 'potential future funny story to tell everyone we know' to apply for the position concerning my awesome sister who does not know i am writing this, please read the following.
things you need to know about her:
1. she has an irrefutable love of madonna that you can attempt to hold against her, but if you do, then you should probably stop reading at this point.
2. she has sarcasm and wit to boot, so be on top of your email and your comebacks because no one can dish it like her. i would also venture to say that she's probably the funniest person on the planet.
3. she also has an irrefutable love of books: milan kundera is one of her favorites, she likes salman rushdie and rainer maria rilke and 'the prophet', lots of middle eastern literature, david sedaris, etc.etc. her aforementioned wit and humor are a product of her love for books. can you read? do you read? let's start there!
4. she loves to do stuff. i feel like she's always out and about. she runs, she dances, she gets really big groups of friends together to do ridiculous fun things like bar crawls complete with scorecards and 'rex kwon do' lessons. she is always up for adventure, laughs a lot, and has a good time everywhere she goes.
5. she really does not like guys who are players. you must return her phone calls, and you must not annoy her little sister (me) because i will vote you off the island. you must treasure the art of the mixtape, even when it has things like britney spears "toxic" on it and maybe have a really funny blog that she can read when she misses you or wants to be reminded of how awesome you are.
interested? give me the 5 things she'll need to know about you.
p.s. if you own a faux silk shirt that you usually wear unbuttoned exposing all your jeri-curl'ed chest hair, i think you need not apply.
this is in or around san diego, ca
no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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4 comments:
i'd date that.
of course my initial thought was that she put you up for SALE on craigslist, since that's what I associate craigslist for... getting a bargain!
I was slightly disappointed at first, greatly anticipating her selling price and if she was going to tell lowballers to go f-themselves.
but after the read that sure was fun! any responses worthy of sharing?
I wish I had a sibling that loved me enough to make such a craigslist post. It is freakin adorable. I would like to see all the craigslist responses please.
Aw, thanks Jon!
Ameer- I *am* a bargain - all this fun in one girlfriend! I think there's a word for if you price women, my friend ;)
There were awesome responses but Susie is more likely to have those than me; she did the first round of screening (as she said she would!). I switched email accounts so I have no idea where my emails would be these days. It's probably better because I'd be ashamed to see the cool guys I was too immature to appreciate back then.
To answer your questions, Susie put me in touch with a few of the guys but there was one she liked from the start. We went out a few times- he was pretty awesome. He pops up and says hi on my blog once in a while so I won't out him here, lest people find out he willingly went on dates with a girl openly adoring of the Beebs, chick lit, or Patti the Millionaire Matchmaker (in his defense- I didn't know what any of these things were when I met him). Hi B, wherever you are!
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