the lilly EP

So pretend for *just a minute* that you'd actually get up and leave your boring-ass desk job (the one that has you reading these pages at this exact moment). And you got to live out your rock star dreams (Hi Gene!). If your first album had to be a cover album, what would you do? If you said "True Colors", spank yourself. Not even Phil Collins can get away with that. (And before I go on, whoever points out that I myself sang True Colors onto a PRIVATE tape for my mom, which she then used AGAINST MY KNOWLEDGE as a soundtrack for a video she shows to guests now, you can KISS MY ASS.) If you are thinking of covering "I Drove All Night", you, Celine, can go back to your thirteen "bruvers and seeesters" in Canada, do not pass go, do not collect $200. I'm talking about covers that won't make us cringe, cry, or get self-abusively violent. Everyone has different ideas of what's an okay cover, but let's use the above as a baseline.

So here's the list I have so far:

1) "Stay" by Madonna, done in a slow smoky jazz bar style. I'm debating actually asking my friends to help me do this. One of my fave songs by her (along with Pretender). I choreographed the 50's-style backup singers already. No, I'm not joking. I'm very productive in the shower.

2) "Whoever" by Lewis Taylor. I'd do it as a duet, though, with me singing to him (duh), then him singing back (longingly. Obviously there would be a video as well) about how each has done the other wrong. Oh, don't I know that road. We'd get Stevie Wonder on piano just for the hell of it (Stevie "I may be blind, but I know when I'm with a fine woman, Lilly" Wonder, as he will thereafter be called). If not that, I'd gladly do a cover of his new song "Lovelight". As the token dance song for my album. How it is that we import Simon fucking Cowell and can't import some decent British music is beyond me.

3) "Dear Mr. Man" with Prince and his horn section (he can only join me on choruses, though. I'm not trying to get outshined). That's by far my favorite song on his new album, and one of my faves of him ever. I love the song "Adore", but can't imagine covering it (would rather have him sing it to me?). I could get into Dear Mr. Man. Full live crazy brass section, though, don't forget. Oh, and Sheila E. on percussion. Just because I could.

4) "Hello it's me" by Groove Theory. In my next life, I will have Amel Larrieux' voice (apostrophe s?) Or her face. God's gotta pull through on one or the other, no?

5) My EP is taking a distinctly r&b direction at this point. Should the label heads give me a hard time and want me to reach a wider audience (they are priming me for the big time in this fantasy), I'd cover "What You Give" by Tesla. What, you didn't know I was a heavy metal hoodrat? Didn't know? Now you know. I know deep down I'd want to cover GnR (GnFnR if you're in the know), but after Sheryl Crow did it, I'm afraid to. You know, the straw that broke the camel's back and all of that...

6) Speaking of which -- a surprise entry on my album would be "My Favorite Mistake" by Sheryl Crow. I think I could actually pull it off, it's a great girl anthem, etc. She did a version with just a keyboard and it sounded better than the full-blast one. I think I'd do it that way. I'd put, oh, Elton (John) on keys.

7) "Chloe Dancer/ Crown of Thorns" by MotherLoveBone. The Singles soundtrack. Can't go wrong. I love love love that song.

8) If I woke up with the ability to do glass-shattering vocal stylings, I'd take on "Alone" by Heart. Hell, I'll do it anyways.

I already know what some of you would do, via outings we've had to karaoke bars (some more recently than others) -- or, God help me - car rides with y'all. But entertain me with your list. I mean, I still have the desk job in the meantime. I've got all the time in the world.