For My Peeps Still Thinking About the VMAs

You know you are!

Let's start with a comparison Susie emailed me immediately following her viewing:





Genius really. You'd think with that to go from and how much I love Rocky Horror Picture Show (I can sing the soundtrack in foreign languages, but that's another story for another day) that I'd have watched this televised spectacle much earlier. But I'm a week behind on everything and I just watched them tonight... well, as much as I could bear.

Was it national Fire Your Stylist Day? Seriously, I'm the first to get in line and make fun of Britney, but she was just the tip of the iceberg. (big, big iceberg). What was up with Beyonce's gold garbage bag? Wearing a minidress with a similar asthetic was Jennifer Hudson. Honey, you can sing all the Oscar-worthy anthems you want to but that does NOT, I repeat, does NOT mean you can wear that mini-dress, I don't care how much you work out! When your co-presenter told you how beautiful you looked I yelled something at the screen and promptly blocked out who it was because I vaguely know that I used to like him and I hate liars.

And Alicia Keys' luminescent glow... off the middle of her nose? John Norris? Platinum blonde, rocking the Jared Leto couture? Who even knew there WAS Jared Leto couture until now?

When you can put tiny lil' Rihanna in an outfit that makes her look fat, you should not ONLY be fired, but perhaps executed. Hollywood stylists, off with your heads!

I'd comment on the music, but I thought the way they shot it left a little something to be desired. I felt like I was watching COPS footage: shaky cameras, not quite sure of what was going on, noise, suspicious activity, awaiting action that never really happens. I think my favorite part was Kanye running through his suite singing. Because you know that he was really just looking for another black person. Just one! Or maybe a lone soul who might actually *know* the lyrics to one of his songs?

I haven't watched awards shows in years. Now I remember why :) The best thing to come out of this show was a diarrhea joke by Sarah Silverman. That says something.


(Ps. I really tried to find you a picture of both John Norris and his blonde ambition and a comparitive shot of Jared Leto. The internet is devoid of them. As it should be. Now if someone could just get rid of Golden Glad Bag Beyonce, I'll be ready for the weekend)